Saturday, April 2, 2016


A relation of mine has just experienced a horrible episode of family disharmony, and has evil done to both her reputation and good intentions by others who seem to have no idea of what they have done to her; that's my 'looking on the bright side' habit at work. My relation sees on the dark side, understandably.

She had the unfortunate experience of confiding in a couple of people at church who blythly advised that she 'just forget them' and to 'forgive'.

After you've been torn apart emotionally you do not 'just forget'. Your life has changed, and it will never unchange. Entire relationships with all their history are binned!

I wonder why some people feel that they have to give advice? Perhaps they mean well, but with a shallow understanding of circumstances advice is neither warranted nor called for. And its probably not wanted anyway. What is wanted is a sympathetic ear, care and quiet concern that is genuine and heartfelt. Even offering to pray (non-judgementally) is worthwhile.

And, forgive! I think the Bible shows us that foregiveness is contingent on repentance. Sure, we are to love our enemies, but I don't know that that entails forgiving them when they deny a relationship of repent-forgive.

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