How are you at sales?

Not selling?

I'll bet you are!

I'm thinking of clergy and volunteer ministers at church. You know, the ones who look after 'pastoral' care, and seek to support those in some particular need.

A common question I've heard, and indeed, one I have asked as well is: "How can we help?" or "What can we do for you?"

Now, this is the sort of question that was perhaps learnt from poorly trained retail sales assistants. These are the poor souls who approach the customer on entering their shop and ask...one of the two questions above.

Bad sales technique, bad technique for those 'selling' their pastoral support services.

What is even worse is the implicit superficiality or disrespect, or disdain, in some cases, this shows for the person asked.

I'm not going to tells sales assistance what to do...they can pay for their own training, but church ministers (of whatever stripe) can do better.

Our job is to know people, to 'relate' to them, to  understand who they are and from that be able to suggest areas of service.

We need a conversation, not a one-liner 'I'm off the hook now, because I've inquired after their welfare.'

We can use the normal conversation.

-- Hello, how are you/how are things going at the moment?

[answer comes back]

-- It sounds like you have a few challenges/frustrations/worries/burdens/loads/things on your mind [pause for response which may or may not come].

-- Could I drop in to have a coffee with you at home? I'll bring the coffee!

OR

-- Let's go inside [there should be nooks in the eccleseum for quiet chats]...or elsewhere.

During this visit your job is to get to know the person's current challenges, objectives, hopes and desires and to bring to them both the succor of our Lord, pastoral care, and identify any practical care that the church is able to provide. Let them know what the church can do and if necessary what community services might also be available.

I know people vary in their opinions on this, but I don't think I'd reflexively offer to pray for them, either on the spot (certainly not on the spot, despite some evangelicals and Pentecostals loving to do this), or remotely. A Christian should expect another Christian will naturally pray for them, particularly when expressed need is discovered. No need to say; sounds empty IMO.

On this score, while imperfect, I aim to pray for all those whom I've spoken to at church through the following week.