In almost every congregation I've been part of, after the formal session we have coffee and buns, or similar (rarely lunch, because the NT congregational practice ain't for we moderns, it seems) and chat with each other.
Almost never have I experienced a theological or other serious topic arising in conversation.
Now when I've been in other groups: a political party, a couple of community volunteer groups, board member of a charity, even in professional contexts, the conversation is always concentrated on the activity of the group. Never idle chit-chat!
Why is this so?
Now, even at church board meetings and the like, we chat on topic!
On the up-side, maybe its because we are in some way sharing our every-day-ness with each other, like with your pals in the school playground.
Maybe its because the talk we've heard is so far from relevance to our lives there's nothing to connect with. Maybe the talk is a mere 'set-piece' like a grooms speech at the wedding breakfast (that's at the reception) and no further comment called for or even possible...
I've tried on a few occasions recently by hanging back with my own 'news' and asking what people thought of the talk, or the whole session. That usually gets platitudes (because mostly people forget the talk the instant they walk out of the auditorium).
From time to time there are real meaty conversations; but, so so rare.
Is this a mark of a deeper problem?
Then there's the newbie.
I've been a newbie at a church gathering. I've also been on the other side.
Questions I've dealt with include:
Are you new here?
I haven't seen you here before.
Are you a Christian?
But NEVER have I heard (so this is what I say): "Hello, I don't think we've met, my name is " 'Watcher' "...then a follow up, if I need it is "What brought you here?"
This starts a real conversation, not one that requires admission that you are a newbie. Plenty of people volunteer that, but the question requires no explanatory response.
Another follow up could be "What are your thoughts about the event we've just experienced/the talk they guy/girl gave/what this crowd (or we) believes...?