Saturday, September 25, 2021

Closing time

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Now, as one who has skirted death and is now possibly on its trajectory (stage 4 cancer, currently in remission) it concentrates one's mind...thrillingly. I used to think, lying in my bed sick from chemotherapy, in pain from peripheral nephritis, a dumb bag on my belly instead of a bowel; this is astonishing. It was like waiting for the curtain go up at a grand opera. The orchestra is tuning. It's all about to happen (three years in, not happened yet, for which I'm thankful for my children's sake) and man, this is spine-tinglingly exciting. Not in a glib or corny way, but almost every reading of the Bible, every hymn, every Bach cantata is a post card from life with our Lord eternally. Being with loved ones is a side show: it's good, I look forward to it, but the huge looking forward that brings tears of overwhelming joy to me is to be in the undiminished (unalloyed as a hymn has it) presence of our great creator and redeemer. Astonishing feelings.

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