Ship of Fools

Ship of Fools is a usually entertaining website that features 'mystery worshipper' (sic) reviews of congregational gatherings.

I'll use their format from time to time, like here. Only I'll keep the whole thing incognito.

Denomination: Churches of Christ but with a new cooler brand.
Church: suburban of a large city.
Location: high income/well educated area.

Name of Gathering: 10 a.m. "Service"*

How full was building: about 20%, not surprising at the first week of the new year.

Were you welcomed personally: yes: a chirpy young girl (5yo?) and her little sister were the welcomers at the entry porch, adults nearby. Inside a couple of friendly nods, a pair of friendly men were chatting at the foyer to the auditorium. We spoke in a quite amicable manner.

Was your pew comfortable: rows of linked individual chairs were very comfortable and attractively in style with the 60s architecture of high steep ceilings and blond brickwork. 

Describe the pre-meeting atmosphere: as above: welcoming conversations, but not many around apart from those mentioned.

What were the exact opening words of the 'service': "Welcome everybody" I hate that glib almost alienating address. There is no 'everybody'. Better to say 'welcome' or 'I'm glad you could join us this morning', or even  Its  good to see you this morning. Let's start our time together with prayer'.

However as a 'high-church' sort of guy I like a formal opening liturgy...so there! Here's a tip: either go liturgical, or do "homely" with genuine connections made.

What books did the congregation use during the meeting: nil. Everything was on screen, and well managed.

What musical instruments were played: two guitars, one by the singing conductor. But there was an un-manned electronic drum kit and a vacant grand piano. Looked serious, which I liked. But music didn't dominate, which I also liked.

What I didn't like were the songs. Apart from one re-set old hymn they were of the modified 'Jesus is you boyfriend' variety. People went all 'worshippy' and swayed as they sang. Weird! It was like being in the back ward of a mental hospital.

Did anything distract you?: people swaying in awkward 'worshippyness' as they sang.

Nature of the service/meeting (stiff-upper-lip, happy-clappy, or?): simple 'we are not a mega-church but aren't they great' style. Informal and comfortable, my cynicism aside, although a little awkward and timorous. Tension between 'churchy' and 'community'.

This denomination (they used to call themselves a "movement") has communion at every morning service.  When I was a kid this was conducted with stiff awkward formality: the liturgy you have when you are not having a liturgy. But, if you want a liturgy, do it properly!

Here, at the door one was offered a sealed cup of a shot of grape juice, presumably, no wine available, and a cracker to nibble on in a holy manner. A 'help yourself' communion.

 As with most post-reformation gatherings this was a pretense of the real meal our Lord called on us to enjoy when we gathered. We ignore that, however as the Catholic/Orthodox 'worship'** idea has gripped us all, it seems, even the Campbellite "movement".

Anyway, at the opportune time we were invited to crack open the sealed cup and consume in a reverent manner. I didn't. No point.

Where there was a point was the 'pastoral moment' or some such name, where we talked to someone nearby. An old member and I chatted light-heartedly and briefly. T'was OK, I guess, but I'm not sure about this game. We do it at my regular gathering as well. She called me 'Peter', which I am not, so I called her Agnes, which as I discovered, she is not.

Exactly how long was the address (sermon): about 25 minutes, but too long for the content. I didn't time it.

Evaluate the speaker (1-10) and explain: 6. She spoke well from a public speaking point of view, was confident, warm and natural. Made good audience connection. A little too folksy for my taste. Some vague point was made, but I was too mesmerized by the ubiquitous illustrative "Peanuts" cartoons to follow it...

In a nutshell what was the sermon about: from the continuous use of 'Peanuts" cartoons, I think it was about "Peanuts' cartoons. But no, something to do with Mary's challenges as a new mother.

Which part of the service was like being in heaven: talking to the fellers at the door.

And which part was like being in...er...the other place: I could have skipped the talking down to us worshippyiness.

What happened when you hung around after the service looking lost: not many people came into the coffee lounge (and it could have been a little more lounge like with comfy chairs and sofas). There were some chairs and tables cafe style, which I thought good.

One fellow came to chat with me but he was impatient to get away. My fault, I think***. Shortly then one of the vestibule guys came and spent some pleasant time with me.

How would you describe the after-meeting coffee? They apologized for no barista, but as I loathe coffee-pretension, I liked the simple tea/coffee bags and do it yourselfness. Sort of like the Bertolt Brecht coming out in me. Nice Christmas cake.

How would you feel about making another visit (10=ecstatic, 0=terminal): 5. This place has mixed memories for me, some good childhood vibes and less good young adult vibes.

Did the experience make you feel glad to be a Christian: Close, but no cigar.

What one thing will you remember about all this in seven day's time? Peanuts cartoon

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 *Christians have 'gatherings'! The only 'services' might be weddings and funerals, perhaps baptisms as special ceremonial gatherings.

**Nor do we 'worship' by gathering or in gatherings. We gather for edification in mutuality, See 1 Corinthians 11-14. The only 'worship' enjoined is as per Romans 12:1-2 and James 1:27. 

***Usually the visitor is asked 'you are a visitor' questions. Next time, I'm going to drive the conversation: "What did you think of that?" (what we just experienced); "What brings you here?" (old night-club routine that never worked with the twittering girls who were alone); "What did you think the best part was?", etc.

Funeral Service

From time to time I've though about this, particularly after someone else's funeral.

So, here lie my thoughts!

1. Book of Common Prayer order please.

There's a sort of ecclesiastical romance to this: I think it ties one to the great tradition of the faith gathering together over the centuries.

2. Not too much talking.

I don't want people trooping up to the lectern to say what a fine fellow I was. I wasn't; thus I rely on Our Lord in faith for his renewal of my spirit by His indwelling Spirit. As might you!

However, if someone (only one person) must do a eulogy make it short and check with my wife, if not available, my son, if not available my brother, if not available either of his sons. If none of these are around it'll fall to my and my wife's god-daughter (she knows who she is).

There should be a short address by the celebrant: make it about our hope in Christ by his victory over death and his New Creation whence we are adopted as his sons bodily renewed. Start with the last lines of the Apostles Creed, perhaps.

If others want to natter about me, make time for it at the refreshments following.

3. Music

Welcoming music while congregation arrives and sits

Beethoven's Sonata No. 8 (if no pianist Barenboim has a nice recording of it -- slow fade-in) 

Prelude/processional as celebrants assemble and head for positions

Bach Toccata and Fugue in D Minor

Hymns I'd like sung are, in this order:

1.  To God be the Glory.

2.  Be thou my Vision.

3. How Great thou Art. 

When the Lord's Prayer is to be said use David Fanshawe's setting and recording from "African Sanctus". Must be played very loudly. 

And, if I get a fourth, or as the congregational recessional

4. Praise to the Lord the Almighty. 

OR

4. Praise my soul, the King of Heaven 

Please print all the hymns' lyrics and my notes, below, to distribute.

For the exit of the casket

Widor's Toccata from 5th Symphony (fast fade-in)

When this is complete and after the recessional

Funeral benediction

May the Lord show his mercy upon us;
may the light of his presence be our guide:
May he guard and uphold us;
may his indwelling Spirit be ever with us.

When we sleep may his angels watch over us;
when we wake may he fill us with his grace:
May we love him and serve him all our days

Then in the resurrection of the body,
and life everlasting be always with him
and all the saints in his new creation.

Celebrant's close

1 Corinthians 5:2-5.

Congregation recessional 

Fanshawe's Sanctus from African Sanctus. (N does not like this, so maybe not if he really doesn't want it. In this case play as people assemble for refreshments and prior to any short speeches that are planned or invited).

4. My notes to the program

Beethoven's Sonata No. 8 the Adagio (if no pianist Barenboim has a nice recording of it -- slow fade-in at the second movement)

I was encouraged into Beethoven by Bob Smith, the minister of my church when about 15, Bob was only 27 at the time and a lively and earnest but very affable and good humored man. I admired Bob and had kept in touch with him over many decades.

My father also liked his work (Beethoven's not Smith's) and my parents gave me one Christmas the 3rd Symphony. I was moved to tears I was so touched and thrilled.

This sonata, 2nd movement takes me back to Karl Hass' radio program "Adventures in Good Music" This was his theme music. It sticks with me as he played it because it was his solace after the death of his sister. 

This work brings you to, I hope, a quiet and somewhat expectant mood. The funeral of a Christian while full of grief is more than tinged with the deep hope of the resurrection of the body and the life of the world to come as the Apostle's Creed reminds us (every time we gather, one hopes).

Bach Toccata and Fugue in D Minor

This became a favourite in my early 20s. A magnificent exultant work that strikes deep emotional, and perhaps spiritual chords in me. I say this mindful of Bach's deep faith in our Saviour which of course must infuse his creative work.

Conclude after the big chord at the end of the first figure (about 30 seconds in) or fade out at that point. 

1.  To God be the Glory.

A wonderful hymn by Fanny Crosby, a blind English writer. As all these hymns, it comes from wonderful childhood memories of attending church gatherings with my maternal grandparents, cousins and their parents and my own parents along with my brother.

The hymn tells of the great rescue of God in Christ of us from our alienation from him that results in death. The hymn's rejoicing is the only fitting response to the wonder and joy of his victory over our final burden. 

2.  Be thou my Vision.

This was written in the 8th century in Ireland, then a bastion of Christian faith and the base for its propagation Eastwards. It's theme is the only vision worth our attention: life eternal in our Father's New Creation we remade to share the image and presence of Our Lord, world without end.

3. How Great thou Art. 

Written by Carl Boberg (1859–1940). British missionary Stuart K. Hine heard the song in Ukraine in the 1930s, translated it into English, and added verses based on his experiences in the Carpathian Mountains and the testimony of local believers. God's greatness is in all that he created and has redeemed to share in his revitalizing New Creation,

The song was recorded by Elvis Presley, Just in case you wanted to know that.

My favourite version is by the Bonner Family (only, the lyric is "works" not "worlds"). Needs to be played extremely loudly! The BBC did one as well.

Hang onto every word of the song! There is also a touching version by an African youth choir that's worth listening to. 

Lord's Prayer David Fanshawe's setting and recording from African Sanctus. Must be played very loudly. 

There are more settings of the Lord's Prayer than there are sailors in a Kings Cross pub. Fanshawe's contribution gathers together both the quiet humility the prayer engenders and its startling but usually under-done climax.

I bought the album with this recording after hearing Fanshawe interviewed on ABC radio, then "2FC". I must have been 22 or 23. I played it obsessively on my newly purchased hi-fi equipment driving my parents crazy I suspect. Fanshawe's creative rationale and astonishing handling of the musical forms engulfed every fibre of my heart in delight. Enjoy. 

4. Praise to the Lord the Almighty. 

I hope there is time for this to be sung as it is the most wonderful hymn here in my estimation. It is full of irrepressible Christian joy.

Written by German Reformed theologian and hymn writer Joachim Neander (1650–1680). Published in 1680, it is a classic hymn of praise based on Psalms 103 and 150, with the English translation by Catherine Winkworth published in 1863. Always a great sing despite my theological differences with Neander's Reformed position on salvation!

4. (Alternative) Praise my Soul the King of Heaven

I can add nothing to these comments on a wonderful, wonderful hymn.

Richard J. Stanislaw noted, “The succinct list [of stanza 1]—‘ransomed, healed, restored, forgiven’—covers much of the truth about God’s act of grace in our salvation; there could be no greater reason for ‘my soul’ to praise him.”[3] Structurally, Carl Daw asserted, “Each stanza is held together by the rhyme found in every second line (abcbdb), and the text is given urgency by its trochaic meter.”[4] Albert Edward Bailey saw in this hymn an optimism not typically associated with Lyte’s other hymns, saying, “these words have in them the ring of a man who has climbed out of despair into sunshine and self-forgetfulness.”[5]

Writer Faith Cook explained the significance of the repeated refrain, “Praise Him! Praise Him!”—

The jubilant exhortation to praise God at the close of each verse is not a mere repetition of words, for each final line extols a different aspect of the character of God, whom Lyte acclaims as everlasting, faithful, merciful, changeless, and gracious,

From Hymnology Archive

 Widor's Toccata from 5th Symphony (fast fade-in)

This magnificent work is a book-end to the Bach we opened with. It is both serious and energetic with a heavy dominating bass beneath the driving trills of the upper register. But for this moment in the funeral?

It was the recessional at my first graduation ceremony. As if joyfully and seriously, confidently yet thoughtfully moving to life's next wonderful phase.

And so is represented here in anticipation of the life of the world to come. Resolved, Blessed, Enlivened without end in the light of our loving Creator. And a fond farewell to those I love and have loved. Literally until, I trust, we meet again. Be full of prayer and may the grace of our Lord, the fellowship of the Holy Spirit and the Joy of our great Father in Heaven be ever with you.

Fanshawe's Sanctus from African Sanctus.

Fanshawe again. An acquired taste for some and his mix of African war songs and liturgical words may be hard to swallow for you. For me the Sanctus washes through the African drums with enthusiasm and unremitting power as Our Lord does in destroying evil, the consummation of which we eagerly await.

I was drawn to it in part by our family's South African heritage, a great grandfather having lived there after leaving France. My grandmother always returned from her trips home with African mementos and books which fascinated me. A small hand carved giraffe was my favorite but I had not the wit to hang onto it! 

And for your own edification: There's no God like Jehovah (Yahweh) 

Now, when the time comes to talk of me in past tense, I will have died. Entered the state of being dead. So that's the language we use. No silly euphemisms such as "passed" or what the popular locution is at the the time. Although, noting Genesis 35:18, I guess "he has left this world', or "his soul has departed" to the presence of our Saviour, we trust. And there's an expression Paul uses that you can also use...please 2 Corinthians 5:4 "David has left his tent!". Quite Biblical.